The Man Rules

Posted: 30 Martie 2009 in De pe mail, Din viata, Fun
Etichete:, , ,

= de pe mail. Thnx, Oana! N-am putut rezista=

We always hear „the rules” from the female side. Now here are ‘the rules’ from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered 1. ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways. One of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is a vegetable.  We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say „nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as RUGBY or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Comentarii
  1. thornofrose spune:

    Bravo! Astea merită împrăştiate… citite de cât mai multă lume. :)) .Good advices!

  2. Aimee spune:

    Haioase, haioase!🙂 Cate discutii s-ar putea isca in legatura cu punctul 1 :))))

  3. Aimee spune:

    P.S. A disparut postul cu cocosul din raza mea vizuala, insa stiu ca acolo spusesei de modificarile facute la mine in comentarii – multumesc de ajustari si aprobari; a fost greseala mea la adresa de e-mail. Mi-a venit calutul acasa🙂

  4. Aimee spune:

    P.S. 1 : Daca apas pe butonul de la „MAN” ce se intampla?😀 Se stinge luminita si ne aducem aportul la „Ora Pamantului”? LOL (curat ipocrizie, stiu)

  5. sufletica spune:

    pot sa adaug … please…please… „Se stinge luminita, se ridica antena si salvam planeta” noup… populam planeta, deci prost… o sa fie un mai mare consum de energie :)) asa ca lasati lumina aprinsa si nu apasati pe butonul man…please… multumesc

  6. bogdanic spune:

    Bine ti-ai revenit! Offfff! Cred ca economisim mai multa energie daca nu atingem nici macar unul din butoanele din sectiunea de mai jos. Pe alea nu le-ati vazut? Sau le considerati atat de firesti incat nu merita remarcate. Avem si noi un buton si nici p’ala…

  7. Aimee spune:

    ..nu-l lasati in pace”, vroiai sa spui, nu?😀
    Io nu ma gandeam la populare cu apasatul butonului, ci la faptul ca se stinge si se face economie..tztz..ce va zburda mintea!🙂
    In ce priveste butoanele din partea de jos a panoului..putem sa ne jucam si cu ele, pana facem un scurt-circuit, ceva..sau pana ramane doar unul si atunci femeia va (re)actiona ca un barbat😀

  8. Aimee spune:

    P.S. Am avut asa, o viziune, cu sufletica fluturand pe sus degetele in V, gramada peste colegul din fata : ” Eu, eu, tovarasa..stiu eu!”🙂
    Zic si eu la fel – ne bucuram ca ai revenit „la scoala”, sufletico.

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